Trump’s Christmas Ride

Trump Santa

Here is my version of President Trump’s ride on Christmas eve. Please note that no Democrats were injured nor any bill signed!

So here it is-

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House of Representatives

Not a politician was stirring, not even the Speaker of the House named Nancy;

The impeachment papers were laid by the chimney with care,

In hopes that The Donald soon would be there;

The political pundits were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of money bags danced in their heads;

And Nancy Pelosi with her gavel, and I in my MAGA cap ready for space travel,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s recess nap,

When out on the floor there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But President Trump in a golf cart pulled by eight tiny rein-deer,

With a little flick of his so lively wrist did the cart go across the White House lawn,

I knew in a moment he must be President T.

More rapid than bald eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now, MAGA! now, Crazy Joe! now Wild Bill and Heartless Hillary!

On, Al Frankenstein ! on, Lyin’ Ted ! on, Slippery James Comey and Boot-Edge-Edge !

To the top of the Capital! to the top of the southern border wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the capital rotunda the coursers they flew

With the golf cart full of political tools, and some very foolish notions too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard about the impeachment

The prancing and pawing of each little burden of proof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Trump came with a bound.

He was dressed all in Old Glory, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all red, white and blue not even covered with a little soot;

A sack full of bills he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a politician just opening his bag of political skills.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the hair on his head was as white as the snow;

I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

Just taxes and bills and other things that were not dead!

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And he created tweets on his phone; then turned on his own two feet to show me his latest tweet,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up into the sky he rose;

And away they all flew like a missile.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good Republicans a merry good night!”

Please understand that I make no political endorsement nor do I even own a MAGA cap. I just wrote the changes to that old poem “‘Twas the Night before Christmas” that came into my head!

A very Happy Hanukah and a Merry Christmas to all.

That is my opinion- Jumpin Jersey Mike

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